Everything is Awesome..

No. Far from it. There’s too much hatred in the world, too much bitterness, too much “us and them”. It sometimes feels that the world is a toxic environment covered with stinking quagmires and clouds of noxious gasses. It’s too easy to fall into the trap of thinking everyone you meet is “out to get you” or only looking out for their own interests.

No, I refute this. Constantly assuming the worst isn’t healthy. I’m not a religious person by any stretch of the imagination (I used to be.. but that’s a WHOLE different story) but I must have faith (for want of a better word) that Good (for want of a better word) will prevail over Evil (for want of.. well..you get the picture!)

I like people. Genuinely, I like people. I get odd looks from commuters as I randomly smile at people. A wise old face, a happy child, a loving couple, a unique individual can often find themselves victim of a drive by smiling by this crazy old fool.

I have a particularly odd outlook on life. A personal philosophy I fashioned over many years of feeling different. It occurred to me that we are ALL different which in turn makes us ALL the same. I mean we are all unique and it is this collective uniqueness that binds us all together.

My philosophy is one fashioned from questionable physics and crude mathematics 😉 When you look at the universe from creation to now there have been numerous points where something specific had to happen to end up where we are right now (you.. sitting there.. reading this!) The right atoms had to clump together to form the galaxy, the right lumps of matter had to form to create the protoplasmic Earth. The right planetoid had to crash into Earth to knock it off kilter and give us our moon.  The right meteors and comets had to bombard the planet with the right chemicals to form the basis of life. That life had to survive many extinction level events to evolve. The right fish, the right reptile, the right mammal, the right ape then think to the more recent history. Your great-great-great-great.. .. .. great grandparents had to meet from all the people they could  have met, the right sperm had to meet the right egg at the right time, again and again and again and again down the generations until eventually, you. You right there.. was born. Mathematically speaking the odds of these specific things happening are astronomical. Ok obviously they HAD to happen otherwise we wouldn’t be here. But when you look at it from this perspective you are statistically impossible. The odds of you existing are stacked against you, yet despite the odds here you are. You are as close to a miracle as this mathematician sceptic aspie is ever going to see. And you know what else? So am I ! And your friends, your co-workers, that guy you pass on the street, the annoying politician who everyone laughs at.

We have to realise that we are the greatest treasure this universe will ever have (at least on this unremarkable blue-green planet in the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy) We have to realise that once we’re gone.. We’re gone. Never was there anyone like us before, never will there be anyone like us again. We are irreplaceable and totally unique. And in the grand scheme of things we are mayflies. We flare and burn and go out so very very quickly. Which makes every second a precious gift, every minute a fortune. Not to be wasted, not to be squandered on causing pain or discomfort, but riches to be spent telling others how wonderful they are. Helping the weak, the infirm, the frail and speaking up for those with no voices of their own, shouting down those who will seek to silence others for personal gain.

We must be proud of our differences. We must stand shoulder to shoulder and spend our time riches wisely. We are wonderful. We are beautiful.

I’m reminded of a quote from the movie V for Vendetta. Where a letter from a long departed inmate called Valerie is found and read. The last part sums up my sentiment exactly.

“What I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may not meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you: I love you.

With all my heart

I love you”

Welcome to your new Aspie user guide.

Thank you for purchasing this 1970 Model aspie. With care and attention to details you should have many years of quality friendship from this model. To maintain your model at optimum efficiency it is beneficial to familiarise yourself with these simple guidelines.

1. Be Understanding : Remember things you take in your stride and find easy may prove challenging or even upsetting to someone on the autistic spectrum.

2. Be Consistent : This may mean doing the same routine things over and over and over. You may be bored but to your Aspie friend this may be comforting. Also be aware that if you want to encourage your friend to try something new or unfamiliar you will need to do it at their speed. If they don’t like it don’t force them to stay.

3. Be Patient : An aspie’s reluctance to change may be perceived as stubbornness. They’re not being difficult just for the sake of being difficult. Try and understand their point of view without anger and try and present your arguments in terms they can relate to. Often stubbornness to change is a result of dealing with the unknown, giving them more information which they can absorb at their own speed can often (but not always) change their minds.

4. Be Proactive : If you are waiting for your aspie friend to contact you.. you might wait a while. They’re not good at instigating social situations. if you want an aspie friend to meet up try choosing a quiet low key place where external stimuli is at a minimum. Smaller crowds are better than large ones and don’t suddenly drop the decision on them.. give them time to mull it over and prepare themselves mentally for it.

5. Be Strong : Don’t get upset if you ask your friend if they’d like to do X, Y or Z with you and they reply along the lines of “No, I’d rather read this book/Watch this TV show/Listen to this Album” it’s nothing personal. They may not be needing social contact right now. A little goes a long way with aspies. They’re not trying to be offensive, just being honest.. which brings us to..

6. Be Honest : Aspies are not good at reading between the lines. If you don’t want to do something like see Rogue Squadron for the 15th time that week, when asked say “No I’d rather not” instead of “oh do what you like!” because if your average aspie hears that, that’s EXACTLY what they’re do. Communicate your thoughts, feelings and upsets clearly as possible.

Finally

7. Be Honoured : Aspies don’t make friends easily. if you have an aspie friend it’s because you’ve met every one of their list of exhaustive criteria. They trust you and feel safe around you. A friendly Aspie is a loyal Aspie. Once you have an Aspie friend you’ll find them to be a deeply caring friend. Remember you may have many many friends but the Aspie in your life may only have a couple. You may even be their ONLY friend. That’s quite the accolade.

By following these 7 simple steps you should have many happy years of aspie friendship. Just remember to check the underside for rust and oil occasionally for fault free operation.